Feels like things are starting to shift. It’s been weeks of hyper-vigilance and everyone doing their best to think and act well in a murky soup of fear and uncertainty. It’s been #$@% full-on. I think I’m worn out from trying to be okay, from listening, from embracing and avoiding the situation by working and baking and zooming and doing makeup tricks. It’s soooooo much time alone. It’s been “productive” (ya, ya, sure I’m gardening, painting, cleaning out closets, etc…), and “unproductive” (sometimes I just surrender and make a bed-fort on the couch and numb out on Netflix and play iPad games for hours on end).
I am realizing that I’m an introvert online. In the before times, I would say I’m a “bi-vert” or a “noisy introvert” (I love me some people stuff AND need quiet time to recharge). And/but…before I go on…I must note that I’m deeply grateful for my job and I know how lucky I am, and I would not change a thing…and…at the same time…honestly, I’m tired of being online all the time (or rather, being online all the time makes me tired). I’m online for work, for learning/PD, for news, for shopping, for chores like banking, insurance, etc. And now I’m online for all the OTHER stuff that’s never been online: art class, women’s circle, visiting family, having drinks with friends. I don’t know how to be OFFline without isolating. The choice can seem like, “lonely” OR “overwhelmed” and sometimes one just can’t be overwhelmed anymore.
- Monday – was a holiday. <dream sequence> What a great day! I had brunch downtown with friends and then we went to the art gallery and then shopping for shoes. Then we hit a pub and then Opus for art supplies and I got a couple new brushes. Then I swung by my cousin’s house for a BBQ with the fam jam! </dream sequence> Oh wait, no. I stayed home.
- Tuesday – Liberating Structures S/Lowdown Gathering #2, in which we do Conversation Cafe online. As always, I’m so thankful for this community and they are certainly what the world needs right now: engaged, hopeful, creative, kind. Tonight I was in a group with people from NZ, Montreal, Germany, Tokyo, and the US. So grateful to be Canadian, and particularly in BC (also, happy my BFF is in NZ, cuz that would be my #2 choice, no question).
- Wednesday – it seems unfair to get a short week ON TOP OF being so far from a normal relationship with time. I’ve given up trying to know what $#&@! day it is. But this was a day in which I realize I’m overdoing the extra-curriculars…I was stressed out about “having to” bake cookies for the competition, prepare a presentation on an Indigenous artist for the online staff retreat, and (failing to) convert a SoundCloud playlist to Spotify for ds106. It all worked out. Unrelated: I miss my carpoolers.
- Thursday – BCcampus Spring Retreat Online. In which we share examples of Indigenous artists (totally great), I buy another pair of earrings from the incredible artist, Lisa Walker. Also, drinks with the ETUG crew…man I admire these colleagues…Terri and Brent from NIC, Emily from Camosun, Keith and Ken from RRU, Vania from UBC…they are knocking themselves out and killing it on the front lines. Also, with guidance from my nephew, I competed in the BCcampus Baking Challenge with a submission of BROILED chocolate chip cookies. I was not eliminated this week (full disclosure, they have eliminated eliminations, but I neither won nor “lost”, so…)
- Friday – We invited folks today from around the province to connect and discuss the FLO (Facilitating Learning Online) family of courses, encourage adoption of these OERs, offer support and a schedule of offerings for those who want to build skills in facilitating learning online. Also, in other BCcampus news… magical ideas starting to coalesce around the future of our events. Christy’s jazzed and on the case…it won’t be your grandpa’s webinar! Tonight was the first night I heard the incredible NOISY 7pm “thank you” for healthcare workers in my neighbourhood <3
- Plans for the weekend – I borrowed a very LOUD and powerful leaf blower from my neighbour, and I happen to have a power washer, so…you can JUST IMAGINE what will ensue. Next week is pie week in the Baking Competition at work. Honestly, right now my plan is to draw a pie on an index card. Please send pie puns. We’ll see what Sunday brings.